Diva of the New Era

She has too much in her — she is a new-age diva. Daria Visotskaya is loaded for success, and she has always been. She is an absolute workaholic, and has many healthy ambitions, and Daria satisfies them all, one by one. At the same time, you may get the feeling that her life is full of holidays and fireworks. It’s just that today’s heroine knows how to turn every activity into a spectacular story. And this is her talent, and also her total cheerfulness!

At the same time, Daria remains one of the most mysterious and unusual women about whom you want to say so much. It is as if she is from another planet: she does not resemble anyone and cannot be compared to anyone. Unique and inimitable, Daria Visotskaya is not only a talented poetess, public figure, TV presenter, successful businesswoman, but also a person with an incredibly deep soul. Today Playboy offers you to get to know her a little bit closer and read her curious arguments about the philosophy of life, lod success!

Brief biography

Born in Moscow, Daria Visotskaya graduated from school at the age of 14 with a gold medal and entered Moscow State Linguistic University Maurice Therez to study journalism with advanced studies in English and German philology. After that she graduated from MGIMO — Faculty of International Relations, specializing in public relations. At the same time she got an MBA degree. During her childhood she was professionally trained as a figure skater, but interrupted her sport career because of injury. Nowadays Daria is the owner of a unique country entertainment residence Par&Palace (parandpalace.com), a chain of sports clubs of ems-training in Moscow and the Moscow region, and a fashion house. She sings beautifully and plays tennis professionally. She is also a philanthropist, benefactor and a true role model.

— Daria, what do you think is the main factor in achieving important life goals?

— I would probably put self-development at the top of the list. When we talk about self-development, many of us immediately imagine big goals and large-scale changes in our lives. Yet, curiously, small, permanent habits are the ones that can have the most significant impact on our long-term living. The phenomenon is called the ‘compound effect’. 

— What is the ‘compound effect’?

— It is the concept of how doing small, regular actions, if repeated over time, produces significant results. Like a snowball: starting with a little ball, you slowly add more snow to it until it grows into a huge ball.

— What does this look like in an example?

 — For example, 10 pages a day of reading. If you read just 10 pages each day, you’ll read about 3,650 pages in a year, which is equal to about 12 to 15 books. This can greatly broaden your horizons and increase your intelligence.

Or physical activity. By exercising for just 20 minutes a day, you’ll improve your health, increase your energy levels, and strengthen your muscles. In the end, even such a short but regular workout will bring noticeable results and benefits.

— What makes this method so efficient? 

— Little things can be more easily integrated into daily life than big actions. A lot of people are prevented by fears, doubts and established patterns. In the end, one encounters resistance. But these simple and short steps don’t require significant effort or drastic lifestyle changes, making them less stressful and more resilient. Over time, these small actions accumulate, creating an effect that exceeds one’s expectations.

— How to start? 

— Set a goal. Take a moment to think about what you want to improve in your life. It could be health, knowledge, financial health, or personal relationships.

Break your goal down into small, easily accomplished steps.

Repeat these small steps every day. They will gradually become your habit.

— I’ve heard you state many times, ‘I am where my focus is’?

— The practice of managing your attention is a powerful tool on which all the areas of your life depend. In the East, a man who masters his attention is called the ‘Master of Life’. To put it simply, such a person becomes the master of his/her life. With focused attention, a man becomes synchronized with branches of reality which fully reflect his goals and meanings. Where one’s attention turns permanent, the processes that gradually incorporate that branch of reality into one’s life begin to activate.

Every thought and emotion we have directly affects our actions. Mindfulness is a key skill for improving the quality of life. Let’s take a simple example: in communication, if your companion touches upon a painful topic, it is easy to get stuck in resentment and drain your energy without controlling your attention. However, by managing your attentiveness, it is possible to consciously shift it from the automatic offense response. Instead of focusing on the resentment, you can think, ‘It was his choice to say so, but my choice is whether or not to be hurt.’ When you choose not to be offended, you can direct your focus into a more useful way. Not only does this save your energy, but it also allows you to maintain healthier and more productive relationships. The more conscious we are in control of where we direct our attention, the better we can adjust ourselves to high-quality emotions and thoughts, filtering out undesirable emotional reactions and influences from those around us. That is the process of actualization, when we regularly remind ourselves why we are doing something and how it aligns with our goals.

Adjusting with Reality… Research shows that managing a person’s expectations can significantly affect their perceptions and outcomes. For instance, in placebo studies, when people are taught the positive effects of a medication before they take it, this tuning helps them visualize and have faith in the healing. It is an example of how we can attune to a desired reality, even though the actual remedy being taken is a placebo.

— Daria, are you such a fulfilled, vibrant and erudite person? Please share your views on critics.

— What makes a critic different from an author? The critic is explaining to the author how he or she would do things if he or she knew how… (laughs). But seriously, our minds are constantly striving to evaluate and judge everything that happens around us. We judge people, events, circumstances, and this leads to stress, anxiety, and suffering. The freedom comes when we stop evaluating and start accepting the world as it is. If you turn on a movie and you want to understand the screenwriter’s intentions, but instead of focusing on the plot you are constantly criticizing it, criticizing the actors’ performance or special effects, then you are definitely missing the opportunity to enjoy the process of watching. But if you just allow yourself to immerse yourself in the movie without assessing each and every detail, you can really enjoy the story and the thrill it brings. And so it is in life: when we stop assessing and judging each experience, we can fully relive and savor the moments, finding beauty and significance in them.

In dealing with others, often we make judgments of their behavior and deeds, which may lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. At work we may judge our own achievements and compare ourselves with others. This creates tension and unsatisfaction. However, if we concentrate on the process and enjoy the activity, then our work becomes a source of joy and satisfaction. In day-to-day life, we may judge anything and everything, starting with the weather and ending with the behavior of the people around us. But if we stop judging and just accept what is happening, only then will we find inner peace.

— Daria, what about the hate stuff?

— ‘Flies find crap and honeybees find flowers.That’s proof of their nature’. It’s funny, for sure, the way some people after realizing their worthlessness and lack of accomplishments attempt to excuse their life by throwing dirt at other people. Yeah, there are some who simply live their lives not striving for the better, but do not hurt others either. But there are those who choose to justify themselves by diminishing the achievements of others. They are very miserable personalities, from whom you can only feel pity, because life has clearly not pitied them. But instead of changing their lives, of seeking strength for growth and development, of finding their way and place in the world, such prefer mostly to attempt to humiliate and insult those who have really achieved something, do something, create and move towards somewhere. Such people find an inexplicable pleasure in dragging other people down to their level of uselessness, because that is the only way they can make themselves seem less pathetic.

— Daria, are you a happy person? What is happiness to you?

— Happiness is the light which shines within. It doesn’t depend on external circumstances, or wealth and status. It is the state of soul to which everyone can come if they learn to be honest with themselves and the world. We create our happiness with our actions, thoughts, attitude to ourselves, to people and in general — with our attitude to life. And, I am happy! Absolutely.

— What is the most important thing in you life, Daria?

— Love is the best thing a person can experience. I’m not talking about a chemical and hormonal cocktail. I mean real love that has been proven by the time, difficulties, situations which a weak person cannot bear. The most important thing in a relationship is the ability to be friends, to listen. Where the word ‘love’ is, there’s no pride, arrogance, ego, lies, betrayal. Where there is value, the worth of the Sacred, which we are given just once. Not all are given to experience the deepness of this truth, simply because not all reach it. Always easier to refuse, to quit and give up. It’s much harder to walk all the way to the end. It is the path of two different people, which in one moment is joined in a single road. On that road you will encounter various obstacles, and one of you will fall, and the other will be able to rise to the heavens, but the point is to be the support for each other. The inexhaustible strength that penetrates each other. Not to judge. And not to berate. But to guide with care. Not to rush, when needed — but to stop and reach out your hand, put your shoulder, hug and say that everything is fine.

— What do you think is the most valuable quality in a man?

— A man is worth exactly as much as the value of his words. Like they say, ‘A word spoken is past recalling’. This is particularly true in relationships where a man’s word plays a crucial role.

A man in love takes care of his woman, first and foremost about her state. A strong man wants a confident and blossoming woman next to him, while a weak man wants to dominate and humiliate her. A strong one can see in his woman her virtues and does not emphasize the imperfections, whether it is overweight or occasionally irrelevant words. He realizes his words have immense power and can either support or destroy. 

A man is accountable for a woman who chooses to be with him. Since she’s behind him, that means she cares about every word he says. If all his words do is destroy and devalue her, no matter how beautiful and smart she is, it destroys her and their relationship. He knows that the words he says are meant to build, not destroy. A man who appreciates himself and his woman builds a strong and healthy relationship in which both partners are growing and developing. This man understands and uses the power of his spoken words for good, not for destruction.

— Why do you think the statistics of unhappy unions and divorces are moving up relentlessly?

— Each person is a kind of programmer, both for his or her own life and the lives of others. To understand this concept more clearly, let’s consider a couple: a man and a woman. They are entering a relationship, each of them bringing their own attitudes, experiences, and perceptions to the union. Each also has ‘dormant programs’ — generic distortions that have been passed down from one generation to another. These are programs that are often untrue and that contain peculiar ‘viruses’.

Just imagine that a woman has a program of not respecting men, while a man has the program of depreciating himself. The two programs may start to interact, strengthening each other. A woman may need a man to confirm her belief that men don’t deserve respect, and a man may need constant confirmation of his worthlessness through a woman’s disrespect.

— Where do these programs come from?

— All of us came from our childhood. We see the world the way our parents and environment showed it to us. If a mother constantly criticizes her father or other men, the child grows up absorbing it like a sponge. The mother could have learned this from someone else too, maybe her low self-esteem program was mirror-imaged in her dealings with men, and she chose to attack instead of working on herself.

Take another situation: a man has watched his mom get beaten and humiliated. This behavior pattern becomes one of the possible reactions for him. In critical situations, this pattern gets activated in him and he might be aggressive or critical to his partner. Later on he may regret what he has said and done, but the program has already been triggered.

A relationship is always a platform for growth together. It is important to realize that some programs are ‘viruses’ leading to the damage of the personality as well as the relationship. Learning to respect each other is a key to a healthy bond. There are no perfect people, but often misperceptions and illusions lead to a distortion of reality making problems worse.

Relationships should always be based on sharing. I don’t accept a one-gate game when it comes to any kind of cooperation. I am ready to give a lot, but I expect the same kind of generosity in return.

— You are such an erudite, well-structured person! Which advice would you give to our readers?

— First! Learn constantly and continually! We are living in a very difficult society where it is very difficult to build a successful career. On the other hand, we are living in unique times, and very scary times because many professions have become extinct. You have to stay relevant at all times. It is a very important point because perceiving, processing, analyzing and using information will be crucial. New technologies are emerging faster than we can adjust to them. Therefore, it is important to take time for self-development and constantly learn.

Second! There is a rule — the ‘Eisenhower matrix’: Not all important things are urgent, and not all urgent things are important. That’s two rules — memorize or write it down. You have to learn time management, to categorize all your to-do’s into groups of three types. The first is the urgent and pressing to-do’s, the stuff you have to do here and now. The second group of things: the urgent, but not important, i.e. it is necessary to do it not today, but it must be done. The third group of tasks is non-urgent and unimportant. If all your activities will be grouped according to these three criteria, your first group will be constantly shifting, the urgent but not important things will be moving to the first group, and, accordingly, the third things will be going to the second group.

Third! Lastly I would like to say: all the successes we have are extensions of our failures. It’s only that luck has to take time when a negative turns into a positive. Therefore, never lose faith in yourself and in miracles!

— Daria, thank you!

— Thank you too!